Category Archives: Humour

Global Warming – YAWN!!!


Curious to know what our top scientists and researchers are doing in the world, I head to the Science and Technology section of the DailyMail. And all I found was, Global Warming gonna kill you, Global Warming gonna make you short, Global Warming is bad. I mean, what’s the deal? Are they trying to scare us? Are they trying to blame us? Are they gonna do something about it? Do they know what it realy is?

Curious. I read on.
Here is a list of all the confusing, misleading articles on global warming..

Article #1: “Everest could soon become impossible to climb because of global warming…”

Mt. Everest is already impossible for me to climb! I can’t even think of it, considering my physical fitness. Even if I was fit, and ready to take on the Everest, I am sure that my manager would not approve my leaves.

So, dailymail stop telling me things I already know. Oh, it’s not for me you say, Apa a.k.a ‘Super Sherpa’ wants to climb it again. And he is complaining that it’s difficult to climb the Mt. Everest now because of ‘Global Warming’?……. and not because he is 55 years old? Are you sure?

link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2107013/Everest-soon-impossible-climb-global-warming-says-Sherpa.html

Article #2: “Global warming ‘could make us shorter’ after horses are found to have shrunk the LAST time the world heated up”

Who would want freakishly tall Horses roaming around? Well, for this I thank god for Global Warming! At least my future kids will have a scientific reason to tell at the Basketball court, if they turn out short, “I could’ve dunked, you know… only a little taller… stupid Global Warming!”.

Did the title say the ‘LAST’ time the world heated up? That means there actualy was a world heat up before too, and during that time, I bet it was the smoke coming out of Fred flintstone’s feet.


Note – I did not read the article. It really wasn’t for me. There might be something there, so here’s the link for all you Al Gor’ians.
link : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2105508/Global-warming-make-shorter-horses-shrunk-time-world-heated-up.html

Article #3: “Baghdad was frozen over 1,000 years ago in new clue over climate change”
link : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2107130/Baghdads-frozen-past-revealed-ancient-manuscripts.html

Article #4: “Science&Tech Article: Global warming theory in chaos after report finds increased solar activity may COOL the Earth”

Now what? After reading so much, all I understood was Global Warming was a bad thing, heating up the earth, melting snow caps, not allowing Sherpa to climb, wiping islands, not keeping the same climate even after 1000 years, in famous places like Bagdad. And now you tell me that Global Warming is actually Cooling. Let’s get serious here. Where’s my money gone? I demand my green tax back!

I request all you arrogant, self-righteous, self-pomptious, hobyless, Al Gor followers to kindly leave us, equally arrogant, self-involved, ignorant, selfish, majority alone!

link: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-1318425/Global-warming-theory-chaos-Increased-solar-activity-COOL-Earth.html

Just, beware of the 21st century scam called Global Warming.

image source: http://indianamerica.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/the-flintstones-car.jpg

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America rules the world… now the moon too?!


I read an article the other day that had me laughing really hard. It read NASA has apparently introduced a ‘no-fly’ zone over the moon-landing sites, and a ‘look-but-do-not-touch’ instructions for anyone approaching the artefacts left on the moon by Nasa’s astronauts. It brought so many thoughts to my head..

THOUGHT # 1

Anyone is not gonna’ be walking around the moon! It has to be a well-qualified astronaut who will obviously respect the artefacts lying on the moon, or may be a filthy rich billionaire, or a test subject monkey. Now explain to the arrogant billionaire or the excited monkey that he/she should not walk on any feet marks, and to not touch any of NASA’s things lying around. If the billionaire, is a son of a billionaire and not the one who actually contributed to any part of the billion, made by his father, he is ought to do somethin like that, coz’ that’s the only way he is gonna write his name in history! The man who allegedly wiped US’s print off the face of moon.

THOUGHT # 2

Did the US find oil in the moon? Otherwise why would they indirectly try to claim the moon theirs? If that was the case, they would probably be in the process of creating a space astro-terrorist group, ‘Ál-Space-K-da’ that would terrorize, shoot at any spaceship that comes close to the moon! That’s not too far away!… A war for the moon! I mean what gives them rights to create rules in space, it’s unclaimed free damn territory!

THOUGHT # 3

Or are they trying to cover something that never happened? I’m sorry, this had to come up in my head. The whole fake moon landing story is so amusing, that I sometimes wish the lies were true. But sadly, NASA’s given enough evidence to back their story up. But hey, wouldn’t the whole ‘one step for man..’ be actually be a crater after the spaceshuttle left? shouldn’t it be covered by moon sand by now? How heavy was Neil, to make an ever lasting foot print? Whatever may be the case, NASA’s request/demand has been noted, and I shall tell my wife and kids that we can’t go to the moon landing site this weekend, and will park my shuttle back into my garage.

Jokes apart, the article was a good read and all they are saying is that if you stop by in India, please don”t stub your ciggies on the Taj Mahal.

image source: source

Zombie Caterpillars


Scientists from Penn State University have found a gene called egt found in a virus, that can take control of a caterpillar, turining them into zombies!

Here’s how the virus works –
First the virus brainwashes the caterpillar.
Forces the caterpillar to aimlessly climb trees.
Then, with a combination of genes in the virus, it melts the caterpillar.
The caterpillar then turns into green goo which drips from the tree.
This sticky goo when stamped on will further infect more caterpillars/moths.
And the process continues..

It’s a creepy world for the caterpillars!
Reasearcher Kelli Hoover says “There are other genes in the virus that then make the caterpillar melt. So it becomes a pool of millions of virus particles that end up dropping onto the foliage below where it can infect other moths that eat those leaves”, as said in the Dail Mail.

So don’t be surprised if you walk into a park and find strange looking caterpillars marching up trees and dead moths falling from trees as sticky green goo.

Luckily, there is a cure, scientists say it is possible to remove this gene from the virus thus saving the caterpillars from their misery.

If your thinking caterpillars are the only ones that turn into zombies? You’re wrong! Apart from Zombie Caterpillars, there are Zombie Ants! The culprit this time is fungus Ophiocordyceps camponoti-balzani.

If you see an ant chillin’ at an edge of a leaf, it might just not exactly be chillin’ , it just might be a zombie ant.

Now it’s for topics like these, I’ve created a category called “Randomness” on my blog! : )

 

image source: source

Space Hotel – Bookings open – 2012


Imagine packing your bags to go on a space trip! Amazing right. But sadly not many of us will have that unique opportunity to tell such a tale to our friends, coz’ the tariffs at this hotel is way off the charts…
Anyways, here’s a sneak peek into whats in store for the lucky few who manage to get themselves a ticket for a vacation in space!

Apart from world-class(or should I say galaxy/universe class!) facilities and the obvious stunning view of the earth from the huge windows of the spacecraft, visitors will have a unique opportunity to interact with passing astronauts. It’s planned to have  astronauts aboard the Space hotel in case of a crisis, according to the Daily mail.

Everything is not going to be the same in space! You will be asked the strangest of questions, like if you prefer to have your beds vertical or horizontal, No kidding !  Toilets will use flowing air instead of water to move waste through the system, according to Orbital Technologies who are responsible for the construction of this unique project. Showers will be sealed affairs to stop water going where it shouldn’t! Iced tea, mineral water and fruit juices will be available, but sadly alcohol is a strict no no, the dream of being drunk in space will still be a dream for a while.

Duration –
2 days in the shuttle+ 5 days at the space hotel
Cost –
£5,00,000 – Journey via a Soyuz rocket.
£1,00,000 – 5 day stay at the hotel
Grand Opening – 2016

The hotel’s prospective customers will obviously be the wealthy, people working for private companies who wish to do research in space, and also asrtonauts. This space hotel has the facility to provide rooms for astronauts aboard International Space Station if there is a crisis, rather than bringing them all the way back to earth. A small pitstop for the astronauts at the space hotel, until the mechanic fixes the spacecraft!

The Russians have done it again, this hotel will be located at orbit 217 miles up. Hats off!

image : source

A Robot developed just to replicate a human hug?!


C’mon! Initially robots/machinary were used just to make human life easy. Now, have we’ve become so lazy, so emotionless, so self involved, that we require a robot to give out hugs for us?!

Let me introduce you to ‘sense-roid’, who apparently stands with a sign saying “FREE HUGS!”. 

                            With this device it is actually possible to hug yourself. The sense-roid replicates the embrace with air compressors, through the silicon present in the jacket. Now, should we also buy a robot to say.. Excuse Me.. Thank you.. Good morning ? My point is, soon we will be downloading an app that says ‘thank you’ for you each time you buy your meal at TGIF. It would be convenient, wouldn’t it?  Have we human beings gotten’ so self indulged, emotionless to have the need to have robots give out hugs?

Although it has it’s few practical medical purposes, like it will be used in elderly care homes or in cases when the patient needs reassurance. Pathetic right? The true meaning of a hug is lost. But, I mean good in a way at least the needy get a hug. But it will be soon when conversations would sound like this-

Woman : “Oh darling, I’d love to hug you…”

Man : “Na, I’m cool.. this red button on my jacket does it for me.”

 “Oh, crap! .. the battery’s down!… “

Woman: “Oh, come here you…”

<hugs the man>

Man: “Eww! what was that?

Man: “I miss my jacket!”

<franticly searching for the charger>

Page Rank zero ? :o


                    Did your latest page rank make you feel horrible? Did you go excitedly to Prckecker.info just to find out you were rated very low in the eyes of google and gang? Well here’s something to cheer you up. The page rank is not the only criterion the search engine algorithms have. There are various other factors. I know many fellow bloggers who have a low page rank but turn up high on search engines and have lot of traffic incomming. So don’t fret, keep those posts coming!

                     I don’t think a person should be concerned about his/her page rank but rather than concentrate on his/her ‘writting’. But sure, it’s always great to have a good rank, but it’s not the only thing your blog needs. For your blog/site to survive you have to provide content. ‘Coz it’s the writting that is gonna attract people, it’s the writting that is gonna keep people hooked. Not a page rank.

                    Don’t let a stupid number like a page rank, steal the passsion towards your blog. Continue what you were doing just the way you were doing. Coz’ nothing will make you happier than doing things in your space, your way.  Don’t change your style or your content, just to have a better page rank. The effort will be in vain, and is just not worth it. Google takes months to update pageranks, and they take almost forever to rank a new blog and I don’t blame them, there are thousands and thousands new subscribers everyday!

Just enjoy it till it lasts. Happy blogging!